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satu hal yang aku nda mau bicara ke dia atau yang berat kubicarakan ke dia. hal - hal yang aku gak suka, menuntut. karna pasti akhirnya dia nanya maunya aku dia kayak apa. hell - o.... malas rasanya menjawab pertanyaan itu terus dia ikuti yang kumau gimana, sapa tau nantinya dia gak suka tapi diem aja di simpan dalam hati. "biarkanlah rasa sakit dan hampa." Gosh! can we please just once do all the things not to make the pain inside? mauk mauk mauk. tapi jeleknya, aku juga kayak gitu. dia mau gimana aku nuruti dalam bahasa bisu. nda suka, diam, tetap bergerak. I just want to make him happy for the first time. dia bilang aku menyejukkan dan segala macamnya tapi aku nda merasa, aku malah merasa aku maksa dia, aku nyakitin dia. God God God, please make us closer so i could know the truth from his eyes, when he bored, angry, happy, sad, sick. I don't want this like this. Like the old one with different guy. I don't want meet that nightmare anymore, the past is enough for feel tear apart. i am still afraid, with your sureness, and afraid if i say yes again and then i fall into the same hole again. sorry, but this is me......now.